Another Hump Day shrapnel post

Fragmented thoughts from a fragmented mind

1. Pulled into a McDonald’s drive-thru last night to try the new Adult Happy Meal I’ve been hearing so much about.

   Then I realized I wasn’t a fucking retard, so I bought a Quarter Pounder with cheese combo meal, instead.

   I figured if the nostalgia really hit me, I could make a paper ball out of the burger wrapper and peg some nerd in the back of his head.

2. I wanted to send a shoutout to Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit. Without his help, I wouldn’t have a widely-read platform championing any of my writing with any regularity. Twitter has still not reinstated my account — despite my having met the purported criteria of having over 10k followers and not committing a crime or engaging in spam. So this whole supposed Musk-led “free speech” Renaissance? I’m dubious. And also, canceled.

3. The other day, Matt Walsh introduced me to the terms “dink” and “dinkwad”. Both are acronyms: dual income no kids; dual income no kids with a dog. So if you see me out and about and I seem angry and out of sorts, it’s because screw Matt Walsh.

4. Stanford University has published its index of forbidden words as part of the school’s initiative to combat what it calls “harmful language.” Or as it’s known colloquially, “Revenge of the Chodes.”

   Not that it needs an in-depth analysis, but suffice to say the purpose of such an initiative is two-fold: to chill free speech, and to create the linguistic conditions that promote a kind of institutionalized ivory tower anti-intellectualism, the intent of which is to churn out leftwing activists who will police public discourse. Think of this as the breast buds of a maturing authoritarianism. Or, you know. Don’t.

5. There’s more than one way to skin a cat. Driving over one with a Subaru Crosstrek, however, is not one of them.

   Don’t ask.

6. If “gender” is a social construct, then each person’s gender can be determined by that person’s self-perception as it interacts with the outside world. Since there is no limiting factor on what potential experiences can make up a self perception — and no rule dictating the precise ratio of feelings and experiences that create the constructed identity — it follows that “gender identity” has no coherent limits: there can potentially exist as many gender identities as there are people.

   So congrats, queer theorists: you’ve spent countless years and spilled millions of words to create a verbally-larded and intellectually pretentious synonym for “individual.”

   Next time save yourself the time and effort and just ask a conservative.

7. Rest in Peace, Franco Harris. 72 is still too young. Also, you trapped that damned ball. I know it, you know it, John Madden knew it, Chuck Noll knew it. Hopefully God makes you finally admit to it before he lets you into Heaven. And when you do get in, you owe Kenny Stabler a huge apology.

8. Finally: Have a happy Hanukkah and a Merry Christmas. Or, if you celebrate Kwanzaa, have a joyous Watts’ Riots Remembrance Week. Whichever holiday you celebrate — or even if you celebrate none at all — be safe and share some special time with the ones you love.

   — though if you are an adult with a Happy Meal living a dink lifestyle, I hope your water heater leaks and your washing machine stops working. You’ve earned it. Freaks.